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Techno-Love

(Space Requiem)

Aurelius Belei



Publicat Joi, 13 Decembrie 2001, ora 10:05

      dedicated to Freddy Mercury
      You have died, my friend...
      Only now I begin to understand what means that every man remains the prisoner of his own destiny. You have sacrificed everything - even those you loved-to conquer the Infinite. Such a vain illusion! But you have forgotten that Time is humanity's greatest foe.
      Nothing is more painful than death.
      Death - this passing form "being" to "un-being" - was the phenomenon that I tried to explain, to understand, to take in. Sometimes I wished to get sick, in order to suffer and to feel the proximity of death - to be able to investigate it and to defy it...
      I miss you. We knew each other so well that we seldom needed words to communicate. Our eyes sufficed. It was... In your eyes were reflected the clouds (the clouds that you languish for so much) wandering in the skies as wisps of fog into an eternal abyss. But now those eyes, the most beautiful and expressive I've ever seen, are closed for good.
      I think it's stupid death ends everything.
      Sometimes I met you on the ship's bridge, where the lights are always veiled and the stars shine in full splendour. You are crying, perhaps you are thinking at Her. I have always understande you. Our lives were tied together, mutually inspiring us the idea that one wont be able to live withouth the other. Could this really be true? Therefore this had happened at last? You have gone, my friend, on a road with no return. In your life you haven't done anything out of common! Anyone could do, it. But none had the courage... Your journey was intended for the world to see that it's possible. That Man could defy the Infinite. You have offered yourself the greates joy of your life!
      I am alone now and surrounded by a great peace.
      You have died, my friend, forsaking the rainbow of your heart. You are a poet. You have loved the beauty of a flower as a wonder of the world. Incessantly, in my mind are beating bits of your words, of your wishes: "...a sky, a flower, a love will never die".
      Nobody will answer me now. With you I didn't feel alone. For you, I will tell by heart those things you didn't lose: the clouded sky above us, the green slope of the hill where we sit, the flames with countless colours, the sea... You didn't lose anything. You have everything there. In your soul.
      So long, my friend!
      Aggrieved I look at your corpse, ejected into distance, absorbed by the ever frozen void. Among the stars which will non seem so far away, you'll feel free. You'll be next to the Infinite, you'll merge with Infinite...
      Inside this ship, caught between yesterday an tomorrow, I have had only you. No, I can't do it any more; I don't want to ask myself; I don't want to find answers. Futility... to sit and to look at the inert clay of the most beloved, not being able to interfere, not being able to prevent this immobility.
      I feel like crying. But I can't cry. I am only a poor robot, a sensory cyberbrain. An Immortal.

© Copyright Aurelius Belei
Nota :    English version by Dan Pavelescu
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